Recycled water, lab-grown coffee plants genetically designed for minimum expense and maximum production, and re-recycled coffee grounds have mixed together to create this insultingly cheap USCM culinary 'wonder'. You're just glad the troops get issued water for free.
It is a vacuum sealed tube of suspicious meat. Artificially packed full of nutrients you can't pronounce. The M is printed on the side, so it just reads EAT. Guess that's where the slogan comes from.
A bar of "The CHUNK" brand chocolate. "The densest chocolate permitted to exist according to federal law. We are legally required to ask you not to use this blunt object for anything other than nutrition."
It is a small item.
It would be a normal weapon if you were hit someone with it.